Fake It ‘Til You Make It


I bet you’ve heard the phrase a few times, “fake it ’til you make it”, but do you understand what it means?

It means that even though you may feel bad, you can put on a happy face and fake feeling good.  This means: joining in on conversations, smiling, joking, acting with confidence….all the things you don’t actually feel.  The idea is that by imitating confidence, competence and a positive mindset, you can manifest those qualities in your life.

I sometimes call it, “putting my mask on” and I can slip into a persona that has lots of confidence, good ideas and is calm and collected.  The longer I “act” this way, the closer I get to actually feeling confident and calm.

The next time you find yourself feeling anxious about going to an event, try putting on some confidence.  Walk tall and smile.  Let your enthusiasm and confidence pour out of you.

And you’re not being fake or presenting a false face, you’re simply putting your best foot forward.   The people that know you well can probably tell when you’ve got your game face on and they can support you in acting with confidence.

I use this technique a lot, especially when I’m performing weddings.  I have to be confident to stand in front of a crowd and speak.  There have been so many days that I just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide, but the wedding must go on.  So I fake it.  I take a few deep breaths, put a smile on my face (and remind myself to keep it there) and project confidence.  It is amazing the way people treat you when you’re coming from a place of confidence.  Even if you don’t feel confident, you do know what it feels like…head held high, good posture, clear speaking voice and a smile.

I’m not saying this is easy, but it does get easier with practice.

Do you “fake it until you make it”?  What are some examples of times you’ve faked it?  Please tell me in the comment section below.

Join the Conversation


  1. Some days, yes! I definitely fake it till I make it…home to my pajamas, bad reality tv, and wine! 😝 great post though! I like how you turned something usually perceived as negative into a positive coping tool!

    1. I wish I could take credit for “fake it until you make it”, but I learned it from a therapist long ago 🙂 But you know what I’m talking about and it sounds like you make it work.Thanks for commenting!

  2. It’s really interesting to see how others cope with their anxiety.
    I’ve tried and tested this many many times since I was very young, and I can say with confidence (lol) that for me, it’s a tool better left unused.

    This is of course just me! I don’t like the idea of putting on a mask and pretending, until I feel confident enough. I’ve learnt that it doesn’t lead to me becoming any more confident, than what being authentic to myself does.

    But I am glad that it does work for others, because we all cope differently!

  3. Thank you for sharing what works (and doesn’t) work for you. You’re so right…there are so many options for caring for yourself and getting through rough times. Thanks for commenting!

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