I Went to the Grocery Store Today

I went to the grocery store today.  

I’ve been fighting some pretty severe anxiety the last couple of weeks. Brought on by who knows what. But, luckily, my psychiatrist and I have learned some stuff about my illness. Its weak points. What it responds to. Mostly medication but some Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy too.

The last time I went to the store I was in an anxious, heart-pounding haze.  The anxiety started at home with me obsessing about needing to go to the store and continued straight through an awful trip.  My heart raced, my skin felt prickly and I couldn’t focus or concentrate.  I’ve done all sorts of tings while in the grips of anxiety, but this was my first grocery store trip. I only got a few essentials, being rather haphazard on the whole. But I was fucking determined to get the groceries I needed, anxiety attack or not.

My husband ended up having to go to the store a few days later because we were running low on everything. I just couldn’t face that store in my current intense anxiety mode. Like I said in the opening, my anxiety was really bad. Worse anxiety I’ve had in several years. I saw my psychiatrist twice in a week for an hour each time.  I will be seeing her again in a week’s time. Bad, stupid anxiety.

I had to use my support system the last few weeks and it worked! The episode didn’t linger on once we figured out the best way to handle it both from a thought perspective and a medication perspective.  This is a major victory for me.  There have been many times that my anxiety has lead me down the rabbit hole into depression, where I would stay for weeks.  Not this time though.

I didn’t go very many places. I went to Group Therapy each week. As always, they supported me through my journey. They were definitely part of me getting better.

I have my psychiatrist’s cell number and addy and she is very responsive to my reaching out. She accommodates me in any number of ways from helping via email and text to getting me in to see her.

I had the unwavering support of my husband, who is my hero. He takes on my responsibilities when I get really sick. And helps me beat the fear back. I look for him when I’m afraid.

My friends are awesome just being who they are. I love getting a text at 6 am that says, “Look at the moon” cuz she knows I’m awake and that I love the moon and other science-y stuff.

So it was a full on support system operation.  It took me a while to build this support system and I put in a lot of work keeping my relationships solid.  It takes time to maintain good relationships; group therapy alone is 1 1/2  hours per week plus the time I spend communicating through our Facebook page.  I try to go out with friends one to two times a week.  I also regularly text friends and family to keep in touch.

Do you have a support system? If so, who’s in it? If you don’t, then maybe you could write down a few names of people you can reach out to when you’re struggling. It can be all kinds of people from therapists to friends to family.  Keep that list handy for when you feel yourself sliding into a bad place.  A support system makes a world of difference.

I went to the grocery store today.

 

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2 Comments

    1. I don’t know what I would do without my support system. I learned early on that you need a network of people to help get you through the tough times and celebrate the good times.

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