I hate talking on the phone. Specifically, I hate answering the phone when I don’t know who it is. Is it a telemarketer, a customer, a friend?

When my phone rings, I go through the same motions every time. Look at caller id. If I know who it is, I might pick up. Strange number? No way. That is why I have voicemail. If it’s not important enough for you to leave me a message about it, then it’s not important enough for me to get back to you.

When texting first started, I was overjoyed! Finally, a way to communicate in real time without having to talk—ingenius!

But what really drives me but-nuggy is when people text me and then call me. We were getting everything done in the text…why are you calling me?

It isn’t just the fact that the phone is ringing, its the ring tone itself that drives me up a wall. I’ve tried at least 15 ring tones and they all sound like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

Sophia Dempling says, “The telephone is intrusive, especially for introverts whose brains don’t switch gears all that quickly. When we’re in deep thought, a ringing telephone is like a shrieking alarm clock in the morning. And we often give bad phone —awkward, with pauses. We struggle without visible cues. Dislike of the phone is often presented as a moral failing. But honestly, it’s not the people or the phones we dislike, its the instrument of delivery.”

So what can you do to make phoning easier? Naghma Rias offers five ideas:

*Ask the person you’re calling if it’s ok to phone

*Let the other party know how long you’ll need

*use tone appropriately

*don’t be afraid to explain your aversion to calling

*don’t chat in public

Whenever I have to make a phone call, I write down the message I want to get across and any questions I have. Sometimes, I even write a “script” for the call that I can just follow once I’m on the phone. I have a little spot in my house prepared for phone calls. There are plenty of pens and paper and the calendar is nearby.

The calls that are most difficult for me, are incoming calls with unknown caller ids. Since I run a business, I have to answer the phone. But I won’t answer unless I have access to paper and pen to write down what the caller wants from me. As I said earlier, my favorite form of communication is texting (which I couldn’t do five years ago). Texting gives me time to formulate responses as well as a record of the conversation that I can refer to later. Not everybody likes to text. But I think its the bee’s knees.

I think I must have used up all my phone time in junior high and high school when the phone was permanently attached to my head.  I don’t remember the last time I got off the phone thinking, “that was a great conversation.”

How do you feel about the phone?  Let me know in the comments.

Interested in becoming part of a community of people who are fighting to live the lives they want?  Then join Mentally Interesting, https://www.mentallyinteresting.com.


Green, Cassandra. June 28, 2017. “Why You Hate Talking on the Phone, According to a Psychologist.”

Mort, Andy. Andymort.com. “Phone-reluctant introverts, there is nothing wrong with you.”

Nahman, Haley. October 5, 2017. “I Solved the Subtle Agony of Talking on the Phone.” manrepeller.com

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