Dr. D. is an individual therapist as well as the therapist that guides our Group. Dr. D is a fantastic therapist. He breaks things down so you don’t need a degree in psychology to understand what he’s talking about. Dr. D has devised many tips over the years to help whatever ails you, psycholgically. Ok. Enough fawning over Dr. D.
He taught the Group the Three For One Rule. It works like this: you’re paying attention to your thoughts/the things you’re telling yourself. You catch yourself saying something negative/hurtful about yourself. You say three things to counteract that negative/hurtful thoughts.
Example: I burned the pie. I am so stupid! No, I am not stupid, I am smart. I am organized. I have a good memory.
This is gonna take some practice, but the practice helps you get a little closer. It’s amazing when you are able to stop and actually hear the things you’re telling yourself. And, then go one better, and refute them!
The more you repeat this exercise, the better your self-esteem will become. Soon you will be able to combat negative thoughts while also increasing the amount of positive thinking you do.
I’ll provide one more example, just to be sure we’re on the same page 🙂
Example: You’re wearing a new outfit and your best friend doesn’t say a thing about it. It must be an ugly outfit. Three thoughts to best that ugly thought: My friend probably has something else on his/her mind. I really like my outfit and that’s what matters. I should ask my friend if something is on their mind. By changing your perspective a bit you can see that your outfit just isn’t on your friend’s radar–they’ve got something else on their mind and there’s no reason for you to take it personally that your friend didn’t compliment you.
So the takeaway is: 1) recognize the negative thought and 2) erase it with three positive thoughts.